When I started blogging, I had no idea how time-consuming it would become. Back then, blogging was merely a hobby - something I would do to pass time. Back then, I still had TIME TO SPEND. But now, I'm in high school and while it's not busy busy, it definitely uses up a lot of the spare time I had in grade seven and always leaves me feeling exhausted. Between high school and blogging, I literally have NO time to do anything else except for a few minutes before bed when I sneak in some reading time.
And realizing that was a bit shocking for me. Time is only going to be harder to manage as I grow older so I need to be able to manage it well now and that means I need to rethink my priorities.
Obviously, school is going to be number 1. It's important for me that I do well and honestly, no matter how much I complain about the work I get, I love learning and I'm grateful I have the opportunity to do so.
As for what takes the second spot on my list, well, I'm not so sure any more. If you asked me a few months ago, I would have said blogging without delay. But now, I really don't know if it's as important to me as it was then. I mean, I still love blogging and I love reading posts and writing discussions and thinking up of ideas but when I actually go to DO them, I just don't want to. While I want to be able to leave comments on other blogs, I don't want to go through the action of doing it. While I want to have posts every day for my blog, I don't want to go through the action of doing it.
So I guess this post is also a bit of an apology for not being around as much. I'm still trying to sort out my thoughts and where I want to go with The Runaway Reader. I know FOR SURE that I don't want it to end but on the other hand, I'm not ready to handle a full-time blog.
Blogging just takes up too much time for me and now, I'm questioning if it's worth it to spend all this time when really, blogging gives me nothing in return. I mean, I'm happy that there are people who read my blog now and like it - that's obviously a huge deal for me but in the long run, this entire thing is so insignificant. And there are so many other things I want to do like learn how to bike and play the guitar and finish a novel that I HAVE to sit down and really wonder: is it worth it and if it is, how am I going to manage it all? There are just too many things I want to do and not enough time to do it all.
Ideally, I would have twenty eight hours in a day so I can have time to do everything I want but then, I have to be honest and ask, even if I have twenty eight hours, will I still want to blog? Is it a matter of time or a matter of will?
Hmm. Good question, Annie!
Right now, I really have no clue and that kind of makes this post pointless. What was my point for this again? Anyway, I guess what I'm trying to say is that I have a lot of things I need and want to do and if blogging has to go, then blogging has to go. I'm not ready to cut it off from my life yet so I'm going to have to learn how to schedule my time wisely but it's scary how much this has been on my mind.
Is the end near?